From the love of a father

So today I got a pretty weird text, one from Dallas Littrell.
He apologized and asked if he had done something to hurt me in any way because if he had he wanted to make sure that he never did it again.
To my knowledge nothing had happened so I told him so and I told him that things around here had just been kinda crazy and I was being quite anti-social and thanked him for pointing it out.

Then we talked, like really talked. He asked how my days were.
He asked what was happening in my life, he asked what I wanted to do long-term.
He asked if I was planning to go to africa.
He wanted to know about my life.
He wanted information.
He cared.

Ah, the love of a father.

Ridiculous how something that is clearly so small could mean so much to me.
The love of a father.

The love of the father.
ah.

good day.

Dear world. Keep note that i can take care of myself. I got my own feelings and am free of all problems. I got a hold on it all. K. Thanks. -

i was not called to stay in this country.

Oh btw i suck. At everything. Feeling for the day.

I used to be an emotional mess. Now i can barely feel. Whats wrong here?

I'm not sorry i have feelings. Suck it.

I don't like it here.

"I wont leave you, I won't ever leave you"
what a pill to swallow.

Welcome home past.

here goes....

So I was once told I should do stuff that scares me, for the whole month of October... I'm gonna share my real feelings about everything.
beware friends.


p.s. why the fuck am I always the douche magnet.
mhmm, already started.

I'm worth it Damn it.

There are just some fears you have to stuff down and say NO. You have no right to control me anymore. Fuck off.

you reap what you sow.
Something we all must learn the hard way.
No more complaining if you're just gonna start it.
Kelli, quit being a loser! Gah.

I fear that I'm becoming a hoarder with all my craft stuff lately.
But its for a good cause... right?
I need a shower.
But its late and I can't do it tonight cause my hair will get crazy.
tomorrow?
yeah right.
Working 11 hours tomorrow, maybe longer.... whoop!

Hates considered a bad feeling right?

this is what my life constantly looks like nowadays

and then this happens

Snails.

Today was an all around rough day. Just one of those days that make you say, WAIT, I'm a human too! I've got them things called rights!!

Do you ever feel like you are too small to do anything yet your ego is so big you can't even fit through the door?
Or like you've lost all reason to fight yet you have too many fights to fight?


"You're blessed when you feel like you've lost what is most dear to you. 
Only then, ONLY THEN, can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. "
Note that Jesus never said the One who SHOULD be most dear to you. There is no longer a question about it. He is most dear to you. End of story. 
That means even at the end of the day when all you want to do is cry in your room because most people make you feel like the worst person in the whole world. 
WHAT ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER?! HUH! ATTACK HIM A LITTLE! 


I have enough problems. 
I have enough people to worry about. 
Don't attack me cause then I feel like I have to take time out to protect myself and thats just not worth it. 


Its funny when you walk into something completely unaware what God is about to do but THEN, it happens. You get something you didn't expect. You are reminded right off the bat that you are loved. by the One most dear to ME  something that just blows your mind huh? 


Today was a day that I went into defense mode, sometimes that's the worst thing you could possible do. It's the worst thing I could do. 


And mothersenses? Okay, I like those most of the time, but seriously. In the middle of worship and you know your person is in trouble so you turn around and see a woman all up on your man and thats not it, that is uncomfortable and makes you cry but it doesn't do it. So you turn back around and you see him, your insides ring out to protect the weak. you can't focus, you can't shut your eyes, you gotta watch his every move. You don't know what he'll do when. That's a tragic feeling that I hope I never feel again. 
I won't let people hurt my people. It's just not allowed. period. 

Its great to see one of YOUR favorite people with a different girl everytime you come out. I feel so loved

verbal beatings are nice. dont get those too often anymore

Fuck my life